comin' from where I'm from.

So,

I was supposed to be writing this about my future husband, and my beautiful family to come, but I'm here writing about the non existence of those things. They use to exist in my world, be prevalent and strong, now its nothing and just ...blah. I'm now writing about the "new" men in my life.....(Smmfh) just that fast right? Gotta bounce back can't stay stagnant...that way you don't get anywhere in life. Anywhoo, the line up is as follows...

1.) "Q"
2.)Kevin
3.)Byron
4.)Black
5.)Devonda

Ok so the first runner up is definitely the main objective...he used to and still does belong to someone else, but that person isn't putting up enough effort for the sake of the relationship...its just phone conversation-WHACK- anyway...he's digging me and I'm diggin him w/o question, I'm just waiting for the right opportunity to spring up and just bite me in the face.

Second runner up is a ginormous crush, lol(blush face)
He's beautiful and young, athletic, and just overall dollface, I enjoy ignoring him and his constant attempts to now redeem my attention...its cute...lol. Maybe one day.

3rd- he's YOUNG, great eyes beautiful lips, great future, and a dork! Lol that's the best part...but very mature...maybe something can happen...we'll see.

4th- he's just a smash and dash thing I've been doing for a longtime before I met my ex fiancé, he loves me, but I don't love him. He's grown...NAH.

And last but nor least is a beautiful young man, cocky but smooth, anywhoo...things are really just easing out for me...I'm closing the chapter in my heart with antonio. I didn't mean to fall in love with him... I didn't want to. He fell in love with me. And woo'd his way right into my heart...and at that point there was nothing that I could really do about it. I'm just healing that wound on my heart and moving on. Marriage wouldve been nice, but I'm not ready, and neither is he. He has somethings that he needs to get in order.

I love the way that I'm living my life, no longer abusing love for my own high and when I come down or am going through withdrawal I want to blame love for the fucked up feelings that I have...

Slowly. Surely...

Goodnight...

Chantel

no worries.

There's always a feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when its times to go back to school.....there are so many things that I want to accomplish this year, not only as a student but as a woman. I'm in transition to be more and live more in the NOW. I've learned that I can't live for the past and definitely can't live IN my future. there are so many things that I can complete and accomplish...my mind has drawn a blank...Love equals more than you know....

-Chantel