Shut it down.

yea i'll use you.
yea if i feel like i can go back To what i know.
thats only if you ALLOW me to.


TML::was a rebound. for more than one person.
1 female and 1 male combined. he doesnt know that though.
he was getting all the things that i couldnt give to those 2.

i know that now.
im thinking that maybe those were the reasons that i treated him the way that i did, and do.

but now that the realization has come about i'm sure he no longer is needed here.
he served his purpose in the spring. but its summer.

and i am getting so hot i wanna TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF!!.
lol.

my first teenage love affair. thats what it was.

and now its time to move along with the adults.
they say you prepare someone for someone else. and i prepared him for the rest of his life.

but.

whatever.

those are usually the ones that come back to you at some point in life.
and i'm just gonna move on.

unless little skylar decides she wants to come into the world.

this summer is mine..

melissa and rosa are my conquests. if i dont get either one. thats cool
but uhm.
yea.

just gonna be single and chill...

in my 23rd year.

Fin.

Chronological Emo.

August 2009,

I saw the i.d. on the silver countertop...didnt think anything of it picked it up and kept it moving...figuring i'd see you again...and indeed i did...handed you your i.d. and you looked at me with those long eyelashes..ACTING bashful..lol i dont intimidate you. lol.

i didnt think of you in that light in any capacity...you were associated with an associate of mine, and i was on the verge of getting married. didnt think of you AT ALL!

January 2010,

the semester begins...and i'm not even thinking of you once again...but i see you in passing...LIGHT flirting, nothing major AT ALL...then. FEBRUARY..IT HAPPENS..

1 Night, 1 party, and LOTS of Flirting.and Touching,Words in Ears.
Its nothing because i'm the president and youre a "commoner" .HA.

after that i barely wanted conversation with you.

then...another day...and i see you..this time numbers are exchanged and all i can do is think...YOU'RE a CHILD.ha.


April/May 2010,

the emotions start "taking over"
constant conversation about you, youre literally in my bed EVERY NIGHT. and it comes to a point where i cant sleep without you. AT ALL i go through withdrawl heavy even when i dont breathe you.
**sigh**

everytime i see your face there is a slight sigh of relief, a slight piece of my day gets better, you made me that happy.
damn.

the smile doesnt ever leave my face, you are my prince..and i tell you that all the time.
you have an affect on me that no one person has had on me in a very long time.
damn.
18. ha.


June 2010,

My feelings for you are at an all time high...havent the slightest clue as to why...youre a douche bag...and i dont want you.ha. i dont even like you.
youre an ass.
but so am i
i need you to do better.
i WANT YOU TO DO BETTER
i need things to be better.
we're besties.
i'm the manager,
youre the client
and thats how its gonna be for as long as i want it to be.
she's 16.
and i'm not worried about her
i'm worried about you
and all the potential that you hold.
you are my drake.
my james.
my... Best friend.
My emotional support coach.
Mine.
Thats what you are.

Finished with this.

'Skylar Nicole Drake' that might be her name.
this is my life.
dont judge me.
fin.