blank thoughts crazed mind

he kissed me last night.


and it was weird this morning when i saw him.

i care about him alot.

and i know that he knows that this is where he needs to be.

he has a girlfriend.

i'm working on making things work with torre.

i dont know why shit like that always happens to me.

he was drunk when he did it.

they say that a drunk man speaks a sober mind.

maybe his mind was drunk too.

i dont want to like him.

i want him to want this when he's sober.

he lies to me.

to make me "feel better".

i knew what i was getting into when i got into this.

i dont need this now.

i want him though.

my thoughts are so random.

i want my dad to want to be a dad now.

my mom needs to grow up and stop trying to be so active in whats going on.

i'm going to athens. and i cant wait to get there.

i'm staying for a week.

i'm gonna wake up to him for a week.

thank god.

i get to feel his arms around me for a week.

and smell him for a week.

and snuggle.

and kiss him.

and just.

be.

what is this mind that i have.

i want so badly to understand why the people around me use me for their own personal use..and do it so selfishly and when i dont do what they want me to do, they get mad.

maybe if i just leave. things will be better.

i have the application for GA state on my dresser there. and everytime i move something. it stares at me...

like i'm guilty.

i know that i need to go.

so why do i stay?

maybe this happens for a reason.

maybe this is something that i need to happen.

maybe this is just a stepping stone for me to be better.

i'm gonna pass summer school with great grades.

i'm going to be great.

i just cant wait to go to athens.


.chan.