why'd you show me

The representative?, not just show me who you really and truly were.

A mask, is almost what it seemed like it was. But not solely a mask, a piece of a Beautiful man. a happy, peaceful, calm, content man, that had massive amounts of faith, in everything. Trustworthy, honest, and Open.

"Things Change, People Change." That's what you said. and out of the 2 people that were in that relationship I changed, only for the betterment of us. and I'm guessing you stayed the same, but changed all at the same time. As i said i met the Representative. so i didn't know the person who sits before me today...I don't know why I didn't pay attention before, but was i blinded by love? or the true heart of a man shined through so brightly that i couldn't see his flaws?

this love that i have in my heart for you isn't even remotely close to any kind of feelings in my heart that I've ever had for any human being on this earth. My love for you surpasses my sanity. and makes me want to truly lose my mind because i cant have you. I can barely breathe without you. my heart is in pain from the lack of love that you haven't given to me.

I know that i love you. and i know that you love me. but there are some areas in love and life that you need to work on. maybe you aren't ready for this MARRIAGE of 2 beautiful hearts, maybe you aren't truly ready for the lifetime commitment of love. "I live for you" those four words mean the world to me. My heart has been broken SO many times. is it my fault if what you were telling was lies?. the immaturity of my heart? the lessons taught, learned but not completely comprehended.

I just want so badly for you to open your eyes to the unconditional love that has been set before you, the honest, true, RAW love that has been offered to you but not sure if you understand that. but i cant be too concerned with what you re not seeing. if you honestly thought that i would hurt you, you were sadly mistaken.

I'm sorry for the women before me that hurt your feelings.
But.

I'm not her. and i cant hurt you. my heart wont allow me to.

our beautiful home in Harrisburg, pa has not slipped my mind at all. i can still picture our children. playing and waking up to you. forever. just knowing that this man that loves me and that i love is all so worth every moment of my life.
waking up to the smell of breakfast, and walking down my hardwood staircase to find my HUSBAND standing in the kitchen making me food. with the children still asleep. and as soon as you spot my face you saying " hey babe" ...

Will i still be able to have that with you ?
will our love and life be saved? or only if we both want it to...
or is it someone else that you'll be saying "hey babe" to...